Whatever My Love
by invincible-soul
Summary: Freddie Benson was a Class A jerk, and that's really all there was to it. But I still cared for him. Based on the iPear Store episode, but from Sam's POV. "Author's Note" includes my review of the episode.
1. Whatever My Love

"**Whatever My Love"**

by Invincible-Soul

* * *

Freddie Benson was a Class A jerk, and that's really all there was to it.

I mean, yes, it's kind of stupid to be upset over things you have no control over, but isn't that all people do anyway? Just because there's this idea of fate in life, it doesn't mean I can't be beyond-words angry at life right now. Because I am. Unbelievably angry.

But then again, you all know me. Collected on the outside, save for aggressive outbursts (I've got to let it out somehow, don't I). That's how I act in front of other people, and how I kept it together as I strolled out the Pear Store glass doors and away from Natalie for good.

I turned the corner and headed down the street, reviewing in my head just how terrible these past few days had been, and all because of Freddie – all because I still loved him.

The day he had come in so excitedly and told everyone (else but me) how he had acquired a job at the Pear Store was just another one of the countless times since our (unspeakable) breakup I'd been so blatantly snubbed by the nerd who used to be my victim. Of course, I couldn't bring myself to do that to him anymore, but quite obviously he did not share my sentiments. Yes, after relaying his brilliant news, he happily tossed Carly, Gibby, and Spencer fresh pears for consumption, and none for lowly Sam.

And it's not because I was hungry (well, I always am), or because I have a strong affinity for pears (I don't, they're fruits for heaven's sake – and yes, I know the word "affinity," I'm relatively intelligent), that I'm upset. Those are just trivial. It's what the action stood for: Freddie not only did not love me or care for me in any way whatsoever, but he is blatantly malicious towards me. For the first time ever since I've known him, I feel like there's actual hate behind his actions and words towards me. It's true we used to feud and bicker, but it was never serious and always done in a teasing manner; now I was deeply offended and beyond all else heart-hurt. Mostly because what he said and thought about me mattered more to me than anything else in the world. That's usually how it is with people you're in love with.

Thus, I ended up stopping by with Carly and Gibby to see how he was doing at the Pear Store, and when Carly mentioned how cute Freddie looked when he was all excited from talking about nerdy things, I had to agree. Plus, Carly would never like Freddie that way, so it's not like I was worried about something happening between them or anything. I pretty much just stood there thinking the same things Carly wasn't afraid to say out loud, like I was. Because if I had said them out loud, it'd be like admitting some deep dark secret… like how I still loved Freddie.

At the Pear Store, Carly latched onto some nerdy dude at the computer repair bar, while Gibby tortured some poor, desperate shmuck trying to sell him various phone cases. Me, I casually wandered close to where Freddie was talking to a customer. Of course, I had to cut in and help him sell the newest laptop model to her after noticing she wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed and his geek talk wasn't getting him anywhere.

I guess I sort of expected it when he turned on me, not at all grateful, to nitpick about my beverage, and I admit I fueled the fight a little with my mockery of his words, but only because I was deeply offended and couldn't take his derisive attitude towards me anymore. Just because I loved him didn't mean I would let him kick me over and over without any sort of defensive maneuver at all.

And what can I say, I've got major people skills (maybe the wrong kind, but still) – so for the first time in my life I came out on top in something other than a fight. Natalie actually saw some worth in me and gave me a job at the Pear Store. I had sort of hoped that more time together, alone, with Freddie at the store would help us grow close again. How wrong I was. That much was proven when right away Freddie jumped on me and attacked my character in front of everyone; and now I knew what he really thought of me. What he had always thought of me, probably.

I can't say his attacks didn't matter to me, of course they did, but at least I established a relationship with Natalie that would cause her to not believe the insults to my personality and let me remain at the store. I tried hard at work for the first time ever, because this job meant a lot to me. As long as Freddie was there at least.

Before long I was promoted, and I was proud. Freddie thought I was incapable? I had proved him wrong. He thought I was a nuisance? At least I sold more technology junk than he did. I don't know why, but the thought of him gives me a funny feeling in my chest, even though at the same time I hate him for what he says towards and about me.

When Freddie found out, he was absolutely furious, and had a mini meltdown that got him fired. I hinted that Natalie had been too rough on him because of my feelings towards him, not because I actually believed it. Freddie did kind of deserve it, calling the customers morons to their faces and treating his superiors (namely me) like junk. I quit after he left though, not because I was guilty (it wasn't even my fault – Freddie just hated me enough to bash me in front of our employer, who for some reason liked me a ton), but because this job meant next to nothing to me without him – and working there alone would just be a stupid reminder of how Freddie didn't want me there.

He probably hates me even more now though. Because in his brain it's my fault. I intruded on his nerd heaven. I was not worthy. I'm stupid and unintelligent and don't know "stuff." I agree to that final statement to the extent that after all this, I still care for him. So much so that I quit millions of other people's dream job because of him, even after all he's done.

In retrospect, that night at Troubled Waters when he had the chance to humiliate me but didn't , well it would've been better for me if he had done it then. I guess he really is smart, enough to realize that leading me on and pretending with me would break me more than any public humiliation would after I realized the truth.

In my heart I hope that my pain and anger is all for no reason, and that he secretly loves me and is just faking his hate. But nothing he's been doing lately points to that, so all I can do is wander down the street dispiritedly, jobless, and more importantly, loveless.

* * *

**Author's Note: You obviously don't have to read this, but it's kind of half a review of the episode and an explanation of why this story's premise/ending is what it is.**

**I'm a hardcore Seddier, so I definitely would like to believe what my fellow shippers have been posting of how Freddie is just faking/reverting to being distant from Sam because he can't handle his love for her (etc.), but I just can't. Freddie has been so mean to her and it's hard for me to like iPear Store because of that. His insults and derision towards her personality traits were so offensive that for me as an audience member just watching the episode, I was wincing and incredibly offended FOR her. **

**However, for this episode I do like how it shows just how much Sam cares about him (it's just too bad it doesn't show any reciprocated feelings on Freddie's part). **

**Obviously we don't know what happened after the episode ended, but if Freddie blames his loss of job on Sam, I won't be able to like him as a character anymore. No one forced him to have a meltdown after Sam earned that promotion (it's not bad that she's good at selling things, it's kind of what employees of stores are supposed to do), he just apparently is so jealous and petty of a person that he can't be happy for someone who is supposed to be his friend when she works hard and gets rewarded for it? That's not the Freddie I used to know. Hopefully the next iCarly episode will prove to me that he was just having a bad day or something, and he's actually a great guy. **

**Anyway, I do realize that this take on the episode is kind of going against the grain, what with the Seddie madness and all the shipper excitement over the episode, but I really didn't like how it portrayed Freddie's feelings towards Sam (malicious and derisive in my opinion). It was saddening for me seeing as she definitely proved how much she cared for him no matter what he did to her, especially at the very end.**


	2. WML Review Responses

**WML Review Responses**

Anonymous Reader, 5/13/12

Thanks for calling my story immature, it means a lot. Ostensibly you lack knowledge in the meaning of the art of writing, and possibly the courage to stand up without the façade of a man in grey as well. I'd just also like to note that it doesn't matter if this is FanFiction or not, it is still a creative writing piece that, no matter how much you do or do not like specific characters in my story (that happens to be based on a TV show you might watch), it doesn't make the STORY or MYSELF immature, just the characters within the story. So again, thank you for your brilliantly uncalled for personal attacks on me.

I guess I forgot to mention in very big letters among my review at the very bottom of the page that I do like Freddie as a character. I thought it was made clear in my usage of specific diction that I only really believed Freddie was extremely derisive to Sam in this episode and this episode only. In general I do like Freddie and he is my second favorite character in the show – I think he's a very nice boy and kind and thoughtful to his friends – but this side of him was definitely not shown during the episode, and instead the episode hinted at the opposite about him. This is why I said, in my review at the bottom of the page, that I am hoping for him to revert back to the Freddie we all used to know – which implies, if I am fluent enough in the English language, and I am, that Freddie IS a very nice character and I was never insulting him, just upset with his actions in this episode.

Yes, Sam used to be mean to him, and punches and such are definitely forms of aggressive behavior that are out of line. It is not a defense, but that she is naturally like that and it is part of her personality. I'm not saying that just because she "naturally" likes to punch people that it makes it okay, only that this fact makes it even more clear that she has changed into a better person in the present day – which iPear Store showed.

I think the most important thing here is that this was a review of iPear Store, and not some long drawn out interpretation of Sam and Freddie's behaviors over the years. Freddie DURING iPear Store was extremely rude and mean, and that was all I was pointing out.

Since this response is getting incredibly long, I will proceed to respond to each of your sentences individually in as concise a manner as I possibly can (I'm a very wordy person):

"You are so hypocrite."

That makes no sense, not only grammar-wise, but in the fact that a hypocrite is someone who criticizes someone else for doing something that they themselves do. In my knowledge I have never been mean to and/or snubbed Freddie. So you are wrong. Sorry…?

[explains Sam's behaviors toward Freddie over the years] "Don't you think that's meaner and way (I mean WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!) worse than what than what our Pure and innocent Freddie had ever done."

Have you ever heard of two wrongs don't make a right? Plus, in the present, Sam hasn't done much to Freddie except retaliate when he makes fun of her. Yes, what she used to do is bad – but how she's changed needs to be noted too. And in this story I was only depicting what had happened pretty much in iPear Store solely – and from SAM's point of view no less.

"In conclusion, Seddie shippers are some hypocrites that are obsess with a kid show's ship."

Again, please look up the definition of hypocrite. And an English language grammar book for heaven's sake, I barely understood you there. By the way, in this particular story there is no evidence at all that I am obsessed with the show's ship – so attacking me and Seddie shippers was completely out of the blue and ungrounded. I merely wrote a story from Sam's point of view talking about her relationship with Freddie: how they used to date, how she definitely (it showed in the episode) still loves him or at least cares about him, and how he'd been very rude to her lately. I never once said that if they don't get back together I'll head to Dan Schneider's house with pitchforks and gasoline. I never once mentioned that I have 165 tattoos on my left thigh all saying "Seddie." Because I don't. And THAT would be the definition of obsessed. So once again, you are wrong. Sorry…?

_**This particular response was extremely long because I pretty much packed in everything I could possibly say to anyone else into that one. If you have any doubts of my way of thinking, then, feel free to read my response to this particular person, as it could apply to almost any question.**_

1m Rainb0ws, 5/13/12

Thanks for taking the time to read my story, I completely agree with your reasoning! I don't necessarily hate Dan, though some other shippers might, as he's the show's creator and can do what he wants. I'm not one of those people who would say that iCarly as a show sucks just because a specific two people don't get together, etc.

However, that doesn't mean I can't be offended for one of the characters if another completely rags on them throughout an entire episode, and touched when they ignore that and still stand up for the other in the end. I'm usually a very empathic/sympathetic person in real life, and that translates to when I'm watching movies and shows and stuff. If someone in the show gets embarrassed, I feel that way too, and that's the reason why I was very unhappy with the episode – it made me feel very insulted for Sam.

Anyway, thanks for your logical words, hope to see you on some of my stories in the future? :)

Kezziexx, 5/13/12

Haha, I know right? That's actually what I was thinking when I first noticed that they didn't have a name. ;)

PurpleVanilla5, 5/13/12

Yes! I'm not even aggressive or violent at all (if you knew me in real life you'd understand, I can't even kill the bugs that I'm afraid of, etc.), but even I would have resorted to Sam's insults on Freddie just because I felt so offended for her. She did pretty much nothing bad to Freddie except maybe making fun of him IN RETALIATION for all of his insults on her, most likely out of frustration or pent-up hurt. I hope the next episode doesn't make me feel so bullied! :(

Thanks for reading!

Lara Jubilee, 5/13/12

Thank you dear! That's so nice of you to say. (:

Emily-star-92, 5/13/12

Thanks, your review was very coherent and I totally agree (except for maybe you shouldn't do the pitchforks thing, because then without Dan there would be no iCarly at all)! I only bothered responding to the Anonymous Reader's review because I felt like I could use it to address several things that I hadn't bothered to address in my original review of the episode for fear of it getting way too long on the first page.

I could never figure out why people purposely seek out things they don't agree with just to comment on them with hate messages either - I'm not stuck-up (at least I hope not!) so it's not like I can't take criticism and think I'm perfect or something, but that first comment wasn't constructive at all. So yes, I completely agree with you about that as well. Also, thanks so much for reading, and it's nice to have someone like you reviewing one of my stories!

OneHUGEvirginia, 5/13/12

Yay! You're so good at saying exactly what I was trying to in very few words. This is exactly how I feel, I'm glad more people understand. (:

SirRay, 5/14/12

Firstly, I need to mention that N.E.R.D. Camp was not a job, and so he most definitely did not get fired from it. Yes, Sam sabotaged his application - but for precisely that reason it's quite obvious that he never got in in the first place. Getting "fired" from a "job" that he never even had would NOT be a part of his permanent (that's how you spell it by the way) employment record. Common sense.

I don't know if you work for Pear or not, but you seem to have extreme knowledge of how they hire their employees. Oh wait, it's not a real company. Either way, just because you were fired from one job as a teenager does not mean someone moves on to the next application without nothing that Freddie is a very qualified computer expert. If he really was good enough to possibly work at a technology giant, one job as a salesperson won't affect much. Otherwise everyone in the real world will only have had one job all their lives, and if they get fired from that job, their lives are over - definitely not the case.

Finally, I have two questions for you. One, did you even watch iPear Store? And two, did you even read the story?

The first question I ask because Sam never sabotaged Freddie's job at the store at all. She merely was hired because she was talented at selling things to prospective customers. Freddie, on the other hand, is clearly not a people person, and displayed a severe holier-than-thou attitude to everyone else (even calling them "morons," which is definitely not proper customer service). Furthermore, he was only fired because he attempted to sabotage Sam's job there, only it backfired on him.

The second question I ask because you didn't mention anything about my story in your review OF MY STORY. Thank you, I rest my case.

Anon Y. Mous, 5/14/12

Thank you for your kind words darling! :) But don't worry about me, they were only bad reviewers in the fact that they kind of made fools of themselves and barely even reviewed MY STORY, haha.

Also, thanks for reading and understanding what I was trying to do! I don't know if my writing is up-to-par yet, but I tried my best to portray Sam's emotions without making her super girly or guilty or something (because I really don't think she should feel guilty about what she did - or scratch that, what she didn't even do - to "get" Freddie fired).

That's a very good point though, and that was the reason the episode was exciting for a lot of people. The meanness of Freddie kind of drowned out everything, but I did like Sam three times as much by the end of the episode (especially at that ending point). Basically, I didn't really like the episode itself all that much, but I did like the episode for what it means for future ones!


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